Week 8

[Flint]

[Flint]

I'm so fucking mad lol

[Flint]

Good grief I feel so weird in this game right now. I was furious that Kota was evicted when he really shouldn't have been and I feel locked into an alliance that's not only soaring right through to the end unchallenged, but comprised of people who will stomp all over me in an endgame situation. I'm starting to feel like an emotional basket case, because my head is telling me I need to cut myself loose off of Ana and Cass sooner rather than later, but my heart is like...refusing to let me do so. I would have been much more readily eager to do so if Kota was still here, but now that Ana has taken him out, I think my options are severely limited. I'm starting to feel like a goat because I'm surrounded by people who have won everything and whose coattails I've been riding, and people who I have no real social relationship with. It's starting to look like a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation going on. I can be loyal and ride this alliance to the end, but get totally stomped on by Ana and Cass (this is if they're even 100% loyal), or I can turn on them and then be swiftly taken out myself because people won't be able to trust me.

Steffy wants to take Ana out as soon as possible, but she also wants to take Gabrielle and Noemi out. I'm not sure how she thinks she can make an Ana boot happen without Noemi's help at least. I'll have more in the morning because it's nearly half past three in the morning right now, but I'm so frustrated with this game. Jordan and Tatiana are likely going up again and while I'm happy that Tatiana is up again, it's also so frustrating that I can't seem to gain my footing for myself in this game no matter how hard I try. 

Okay, more tomorrow. But my head and my heart are in a war with each other. I should have seen this coming. 

[Ms. Malady]

u really should have

[Flint]

Part two! I actually on reflection, don't have a ton to add. I think I need to really make a move, and I really need to just get over myself and let it happen and stop being a baby and agonizing over every little decision I make. I do need to do what is best for me in these games, but I also value friendship a whole lot. Maybe this makes me a bad player, but I really do value the friendships I make in these things over winning or being victorious at all. 

Steffy and I are talking to JJ and trying to make something happen. He seems to think there's some alliance of 5 people between Cass/Ana/Gabrielle/Noemi/Myself. Not too far from the reality, but I need him to realize that I would be willing to flip, because I think I am, even if that isn't really the alliance. I've been trying to really implicate Gabrielle into being tight with Ana and Cass and really pushing that the people who keep winning competitions are running the game (and this isn't a lie--they are and I'm kind of over it at this point). 

Steffy is proposing this three person alliance of her, JJ, and me, and I wouldn't be opposed at this point. I'm being very careful about what I say to him right now because I think it would be easy for him to blow this up in my face if I show my cards too fast, especially because he's concerned that he is the backdoor target. Truth be told, I'm starting to think that could be a possibility. If Ana and Cass are playing me, I think they could really be with Gabrielle. Ana is tight with her, that much I know, so I'm not sure what I can do right now. 

This week, I can't really do much but lay down the groundwork for the future. Steffy says she wants a final 4 of me, JJ, herself, and Jordan, which is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Steffy herself is a huge threat and I'm pretty sure she'd stomp all over me in the end too, but it's hard to find a person in this game that I could beat at this point. Maybe JJ or Jordan? Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but maybe that proposed final four that Steffy brought up isn't such a bad idea...

[Flint]

Surprise, surprise. I gain a potential ally and Cass and Ana decide to backdoor them. I like the two of them a lot but I'm beginning to feel really restricted game wise. I'm doing my best to flip the vote onto Tatiana because I don't want to be in an endgame of people who never reach out to me and people I can't beat under any circumstance.

I really think JJ staying is really vital for me at this point. If Ana or Cass propose we boot him over Tatiana, I'm gonna flip out.